Why we need education

Dear friends, today I received yet another 'sign' as to why education is so important.
Other than making you feel smart that you're able to count faster than that hawker auntie trying to overcharge you for your kway teow, you won't find yourself panicking in times of crisis.

Now what is a crisis you may ask? Not having content knowledge for that crucial essay? Not a problem anymore. You have the solution with the internet.
Yeah baby!(pun)
The getting an 'A' part is a true story.

Let's take a look at the future. Let's say 15 years down the road when some of us can declare ourselves as parents. Imagine the kind of crazy and out of this world behaviour our kids will have then. They will be out of control. They will be frightened/influenced by next generation Miley Cyrus's who have evolved to become stronger, scarier and sexier.

But never fear, because with education people who are educated have invented things to make our lives easier in the future. Our frightened children will be saved.



But really, I think the best motivation for education is most definitely how we are saved from stupidity. Sometimes, you don't need to be blond and have a spray tan to be called stupid. Sometimes, all you need is no education.



Stupidity at its best.
Study hard kids.

They say money makes the world go round...it sure does make mine!

In light of the recent scandal over the expenses of British MP, I have decided to reveal the current class account so that I do not get charged with a similar accusation, or accused of soliciting monies from the class for that matter.

2008 leftovers: S$6.45

Leftover funds from SL Project fundraising: S$11.10

Current class funds after S$5 contribution for Family Day: S$65.05

Amount left after reimbursement for Family Day: S$56.20

Total class fund: S$138.80

I'm not sure if anyone of you knows, but we actually made a profit for Family Day, so good job everybody. And if anyone has yet to claim for any purchases made, please inform me asap.

It's quite a substantial amount of money so maybe we could do something as a class like an outing or something. Any suggestions?  If not, I'll be keeping the money.

Oh, and to all Manchester United fans, congratulations on your record-equalling number of Premiership trophies.

 

Necrophilia?

To the survivors who still read this blog, I present to you the best literary work ever:

Its...Darcy of the Dead

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains."

It's an opening line that might make Jane Austen turn in her grave - or rise from it with her arms out-stretched.

For writer Seth Grahame-Smith has taken Austen's Regency classic and turned it into Pride and Prejudice with Zombies.

The novel, which uses the the vast majority of Austen's original text, is being touted as the first mainstream literary "mash-up".

It's a bizarre mix of genres which sees Elizabeth Bennet as a kung-fu expert dedicated to wiping out the zombie menace in the quiet village of Meryton.

The publication of the book comes amid plans for a sci-fi horror film in which aliens wreak havoc on a Jane Austen-style period drama.

Elton John's film company, Rocket Pictures, is to start filming Pride and Predator in London later this year.

The interview with the writer can be found here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7985728.stm

I bet this owns any of the spin-offs any of you might have read.

Let's see what Ms Chan thinks of this.

Have a Happy Easter everybody! Have fun proving the existence of the Easter Bunny.

LESS THAN THREE!

Because potatoes are the new love.

Current Affairs: Goat Arrested for Armed Robbery

After Shaun's informative post on the changes in the education curriculum in Taiwan, I felt inclined to share this report with y'all.

Nigerian police are holding a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery - amid claims it used black magic to morf from a human to escape justice.

Nigerian Police are holding the goat while they complete inquiries

Vigilantes took the animal to police, claiming it had been a person trying to steal a Mazda 323.

"The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car," Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed said.

"They pursued them. However one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat.

"We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody."

He went on: "We cannot base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat."

Belief in witchcraft is widespread in parts of Nigeria, Africa's most populous nation.

People have been flocking to the police station to see the goat, photographed in one national newspaper on its knees next to a pile of straw.

-SkyNews

BEST UNI COURSE...EVER!!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the fulfillment of every pervert's dream:

University opens porn course

A university in Taiwan has opened a course to teach students how to appreciate and analyse porn movies.

The Mass Communication Department of Providence University opened the course this semester, reports United Daily News.

To pass the course, students must give a 15 minute presentation in which they analyse an audience's psychological reaction to a porn clip from an academic perspective.

One worried student, who did not wish to be named, commented: "If I get a very good score in this course, I don't know how I'll explain it to my parents."

When registering for the voluntary course, students signed a paper agreeing that if the scenes were too explicit, they could choose to leave the classroom

The teacher, assistant professor Miss Chen Mingmei, said no students had ever left her class but some would briefly cover their eyes during the stronger scenes.

More than 50 students registered for the course, and most of them confessed that they had watched porn videos before.

Curiosity was given as the main reason for taking the course and most admitted their parents did not know what they were studying.

Another student admitted: "I am really worried my parents will see the score report when it is mailed home. I won?t know what to say if I get a high score

"However if I fail the course, I can speak to my parents and suggest that maybe I should watch more porn."

Source:
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_3158640.html?menu=news.quirkies

Isn't life fun?

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

On the 12th hour of Christmas...

Have you ever wondered how Santa Claus get into our homes since we don't have chimneys?

After a discussion with a friend, it suddenly hit both of us. Our houses have chimneys too. It's also dirty and sooty and makes Santa filthy.

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, we have...the rubbish chute.

So, before you go to sleep, remember to hang your Christmas stocking by the rubbish chute. But if you're reading this, don't bother. Santa had left, and even if he haven't you're already on the 'naughty' list for staying up so late.

No wonder I don't have any presents this year. Either that or my dog ate Santa up.

Merry Christmas my dears!

*this post may or may not be written under the influence of alcohol*